Revelations - Time in a bottle - part 2 [Backpost]

Posted on 09 Aug 2026 @ 6:43pm by Lieutenant Commander Leland Hawksley & 2nd Lieutenant Elora Rykov

5,491 words; about a 27 minute read

Mission: General Sim Postings
Location: Holodeck 2, USS Tomcat
Timeline: Backpost

[Cont- From Part 1]


Hawksley was blindsided. The kiss he experienced. The warmth. The sensation. His mind in the moment, all time had ceased.

What he was feeling, what he had been feeling all evaporated in an instant explosion to his brain.

The explosion overwhelmed his whole being. Cass. His best friend on the ship, female friend. What was a friend relationship, always on the verge of a feeling… Was playing out in truth and dare, consequences at this very second.

The brain freeze, the explosion in his head, neurons firing off on every cylinder. The pathways lighting up like the Fourth of July in his noggin. Cass. His mind clearly was being overwhelmed.

His body froze. His neck stiffened. His whole body was in a complete re-set mode at the very sensation of Cass’s lips touching Leland’s…

His breath was taken away, in the very moment. Not from passion, not from sexual tensions, but pure shock.

The moment Cass’s tender, luscious, warmth had pressed crossing that friendship boundary into something that Hawksley had never, ever, dared to press.

Breathing inward in shock, explosive shock. She was kissing him! For the very first time, Leland could taste Cass. Leland…

Was hit with a hard fact. The fact that what was deemed Friendship, was more than that. The very real nights they had stayed up talking the world away, laughing, joking, bitching about anything and everything all in hours time spans over years now… This was the real moment. The kiss was an affirmation of everything Leland had thoughts of, thoughts that he had pushed downward, away, confined to a space in his brain that was labelled; do not breach!

The glass being broken, the cube that held everything deep within had now been breached.

Shock now within the split second had turned into pure adrenaline already having had coursed through his veins hours before, now once again fired off in every neuron. It was now turning to extreme want. Extreme understanding now.

Everything, that friendship that overcome obstacles, overcome sleepless nights had now greater understanding, greater meaning.

Leland’s lip quivered.

Every sense screaming before his brain had time to register what his wants were, his lips already had made the decision. As if, his lips already knew what the lag time in his brain was about to reach; he wanted it.

Hawksley looked like a man with a gun pointed to him. Certainly, not in a bad way, but in pure shock. Why him? Why did Cass even think of him this way. Despite everything they had talked about, all his problems, all his issues on the ship… He had never thought as being something someone else would want… From him? From her? Cass kissed him!?

His lips having made their decision in that split second. His body tense, frozen, accepting. The moment had arrived, their friendship was now testing at a higher octane, one that Hawksley allowed. His hands temporarily clenched. In fright.

Not in a scary way, but in a split second daze. Then… The signal had reached his noggin. Yes. Yes!... Oh god, Yes!!!

His lips already accepting. Accepting Cass’s treaty being proposed. One of love. One of overblowing senses. Leland’s brain said, Yes!

When the kiss had been made. The moment was frozen in time. Cass had made the proposal of a treaty that would seek an answer from him. Hawksley, why him?! Why was someone as amazing as Cass sought this kiss. He was a cocky son of a bitch. A son of a bitch who never ever expected. The blindness now had an understanding as the brain had a second longer to digest what was occurring… YES! I want this, now. NOW.

Leland’s eyes like a deer in search lights glaring, freezing him in place. A moment in time.

Hawksley had plunged forward… This very moment, accepting Cass’s treaty of love. Accepting what she had been talking about, their relying on each other all these years was more than just a need for companionship, friendship, it was more.

Leland could see that now as his mind digested every word that Cass was explaining…

Breathing inward deeply, taste. Oh glory! Leland could taste Cass. Leland could taste Cass’s velvety smooth lips of a goddess that he was now allowed. The move was his to make next… His movements stated, I want this. I want this now what you had just offered me...

The silence in the room was deafening. The coldness of the right, the exhale of hot steam as they breathed. The sweetness of Cass’s lips meshed into Leland’s tougher lips, he let out a whimper at first. An uncontrolled whimper, which was aching.

Turning to a deep, guttural grunt from within… A grunt, as Leland wanted this! Leland wanted this kiss to go ON! Cass. Oh god yes!!!

His lips locking so tight, so pressing to Cass’s lips, as he groaned, grunted deep from within… His hands broke from their frozen state a split second earlier, as his brain fired forward with a deep deep, entrancing kiss as he passionately answered in that split moment. Yes, oh god yes! I want this…

Before she could draw another breath, the galaxy simply... ceased to exist.

She had expected hesitation. She had expected uncertainty. She knew how deeply he loved Lillian. Anyone with eyes could have seen it in the way he looked at her, in the softness that crept into his voice whenever he had spoken her name.

Cassandra knew that more than most. It was why she had kept her distance for so long, burying her feelings beneath professionalism and friendship after Leland's marriage. It had seemed like the only honorable thing to do.

It was also why she had tried so desperately to move forward with her own life. For a little while, she had convinced herself she had. First there had been Benson. Faith had been honest from the beginning, nothing serious, just two people enjoying each other's company. Cassandra had agreed, believing she could be content with that. She had tried. She couldn't.

The laughter had been real, the companionship genuine, but somewhere along the way she had found herself wanting something deeper. Something lasting. Yet after agreeing to Faith's terms, she had never found the courage to ask for more. It felt selfish to ask for more…

Then had come Thomas. He had arrived wrapped in promises and certainty, making her believe that perhaps this time things would be different. He had told her he loved her, she had believed him, and for the first time in years she had allowed herself to trust completely, opening every locked door around her heart. Then, just as suddenly as he'd appeared...

He was gone. One phone call. No explanation. Only the knowledge that he'd chosen another woman instead. Had transferred to Earth to be with her. Leaving Cassandra shattered, much like Leland was now...

Her old doubts returned with merciless precision. She wasn't Lillian. Not even close. She could never hope to measure herself against a woman of such grace, strength, and kindness. Nor had she ever wanted to compete with her. Never. She respected her too much for that. Or she had before she had hurt Leland. Intentional or not. The guilt threatened to intrude Cassandra pushed it away in her mind. No, Not here, not now.

All Cassandra had ever wanted was this. This one chance. And if fate was kind enough to place it within her reach, she intended to hold onto it with everything she had.

So, she braced herself for rejection. His hesitation only confirmed what she'd already prepared herself to accept.

So be it. If this was where her heart broke, then at least it had finally spoken.

But then… Something changed. She felt it before she understood it. Instead of pulling away... He kissed her back. His lips yielded and met hers in a welcoming embrace.

The soft whimper that escaped him slipped effortlessly through like a knife it penetrated deeply through every wall she'd spent years building around her own heart. There was nothing practiced or restrained about it. It was raw. Honest. The sound of a man who had carried far too much pain for far too long.

Her breath caught, "Oh... Leland..." she whispered against his lips. When his kiss deepened, hers answered without hesitation. Her eyes drifted closed as she leaned into him, not with urgency, but with quiet certainty. There was no desperate need to steal the moment before it disappeared. Only the overwhelming desire to let him know she was here. That he was loved. That he was wanted.

Her free hand rose slowly, almost reverently, until it rested against his cheek. Her thumb brushed gently across his skin, grounding herself in the warmth beneath her fingertips. He was real. This was real. He was here. With her.

She felt the tremor running through him, the emotions he struggled so fiercely to contain. Instinctively, she softened the kiss not retreating, but reassuring him. The gentle pressure of her lips became a quiet promise, offering comfort instead of demanding certainty. It ceased to be a question. It became an answer. Spoken not out loud but through each touch.

*I've got you. You don't have to be afraid anymore. You don't have to be angry anymore. You don't have to carry all of this by yourself. You don't have to be alone.*

As if he had finally allowed himself to believe those silent words, his hands drew her nearer to him. The moment they did, warmth bloomed through her entire body. Cassandra smiled into the kiss, the smallest, happiest smile she'd worn in longer than she could remember. Her heartbeat so fiercely she wondered if he could feel it echoing against his own, each pulse carrying away another piece of the loneliness she had hidden behind duty for so many years.

She realized she was trembling too. Not from uncertainty. From wonder. For years she had imagined what it might feel like to be this close to him, to know the warmth of his embrace instead of simply watching him from across briefing rooms and crowded corridors. Reality was somehow gentler than every dream she'd dared to entertain.

His lips were warm and impossibly tender, each lingering moment sending quiet ripples through her that she couldn't have explained if she'd tried. Time slowed until the rest of the universe faded into nothing more than, Only him. Only this. "I love you Leland, you should have been mine, I should have protected you. Forgive me." she confessed before she could lose her nerve again.

Leland’s whole body stayed locked for one more heartbeat after her lips left his... the taste of her still flooding every sense he had left. Warm. Soft. Real. Like nothing he had ever let himself imagine and everything he had been starving for without knowing the name of it.

Her words hit him harder than any hit he had thrown on the ice.

I love you. I always have. You should have been mine. Forgive me.

His hands tightened around her without thinking... one still bandaged and throbbing, the other sliding up her back until his fingers tangled in the fabric at her shoulder. He pulled her in closer, forehead resting against hers, breath coming in short rough pulls that fogged the cold air between them.

“Cass...” His voice came out wrecked. Low. Rough around the edges like he had swallowed gravel. “Jesus... what the hell are you saying to me right now...”

She swallowed hard. “Th..that I love you Leland.” Her own voice was hesitant. The words were thick with emotions that she could hardly contain.

He could feel her trembling against him. Could feel the way her heart hammered right through her uniform into his chest. The scent of her... that faint mix of ship soap and something warmer, something that had always been just Cass... filled his head until thinking straight got harder.

His thumb brushed along her cheek, clumsy, careful, like he was scared the moment might crack if he pressed too hard. “I don’t... I don’t get it.” The words tumbled out broken.

Honest. “Why me? Look at me. I’m a mess. I just spent an hour trying to kick a holodeck to death because I couldn’t hold my own damn marriage together. I got nothing left to offer anybody. Why the hell would someone like you... someone who could have anybody on this ship... want this? Want me?”

His words cut deeper than he could ever know. For one brief moment, Cassandra wanted to scold him, to make him understand just how wrong he was about himself. But then his thumb brushed her cheek again, impossibly gentle, and every thought scattered. How could he not know? How could he not understand what he had meant to her for all these years? Because she had hidden it so well. That was why.

The warmth of his hand against her skin, the trembling strength of his arms around her, the closeness she had denied herself for far too long, it all overwhelmed her now. Rendering her speechless. She had spent years burying this ache beneath duty, friendship, and every excuse she could find. Now there was nowhere left to hide it. There was only Leland. And the terrible, beautiful truth that she had never stopped wanting him.

Her heart seemed to ache with the sheer force of it, leaving her breathless beneath the tenderness of his touch. She had kissed him because she could no longer keep the truth locked away. Now, with him looking at her as though he could scarcely believe she had chosen him. It almost broke her heart.

He swallowed hard. His throat worked. The animal that had been raging earlier was gone, replaced by something quieter and ten times more dangerous. Something that felt like hope and fear tangled so tight he couldn’t tell them apart.

“And why now? Why after all these years? We sat through every late night... every bad mission... every time one of us was ready to quit... and you never... you never said a word. I would have...” He shook his head once, eyes searching hers like the answer might be written there if he just looked hard enough. “I would have listened. I would have heard you. Why did it take this long, Cass? Why wait until I’m this broken to tell me?”

Why had it taken so long? Because once, Cassandra hadn't believed she was enough for him.

In the beginning, she hadn't even dared to imagine that Leland could see her as anything more than the ridiculous Marine who hid in maintenance conduits because sleeping in the barracks had been too frightening after her previous assignment. She had been awkward and scared and trying desperately to pretend that she wasn't.

Then came Teveran. Whatever pieces of herself she had managed to hold together before him had been scattered afterward. Fear had taken root where confidence should have been. Trust had become something fragile. And Cassandra had returned to the ship carrying wounds no one could see, only to discover that Leland had already found happiness with someone else.

How could she possibly have told him then? How could she have looked at the man she loved, watched him happy, and dared to place her own broken heart in his hands? To shatter his own joy? She couldn't. So, she had done what she had always done when something mattered too much. She buried it.

She became his friend. His confidante. The person who stood beside him through the late nights and bad missions and every moment when either of them nearly broke. She learned how to love him quietly, carefully, without asking anything of him.

And somewhere along the way, she had convinced herself that loving him from the shadows was enough. It wasn't. It had never been enough. But neither had she been ready to risk the one thing she could not survive losing which was Leland himself.

That was the cruelest part. She hadn't waited because she didn't love him. She had waited because she loved him so much that she had been terrified of losing him if she had ever confessed. That the truth would push him further away from her. He had been married after all. He was happy. That had to be enough. She had made that into enough.

Yet here they were now. Face to face the truth naked between them. "Don't be mad...I just wasn't brave enough." she managed to say her voice barely a whisper.

His free hand stayed steady on her side, thumb moving in slow absent passes against the fabric. He wasn’t pulling away. Not even a little. If anything, he was holding her tighter, like letting go might undo whatever this was before he got the chance to understand it.

“I’m not mad... I... Could never be mad at you Cass,” he said quieter, almost to himself. “Christ, I’m the opposite of mad. I just... I need to know. Because right now the only thing I can feel is how good this feels and how scared I am that I’m gonna wake up and find out I imagined the whole damn thing.”

That struck somewhere painfully deep. Because Cassandra knew that fear. She understood it intimately. How many times had she allowed herself, in the quiet places where no one could see, to imagine this? Leland's arms around her. His warmth against her. A kiss. sometimes more. The impossible thought that someday he might look at her and see more than his friend, more than the Marine who had somehow become woven into the fabric of his life.

She had dreamed of it in fragments when she dared too. A touch that lingered. A look that meant something more. A moment when she finally found the courage to tell him everything she had spent years hiding. And every time, reality had waited patiently for her to wake. Alone.

The dreams had always ended that way. She had learned not to linger in them. Learned to push the ache down and return to being Cassandra, the friend, the Marine, the person who could stand beside him without ever asking for what she secretly wanted.

But now his arms were actually around her. His hand was actually resting against her side. His heartbeat was real beneath her touch, his breath warm against her skin, and he wasn't pulling away.

For once, she wasn't waking up alone. And that realization nearly undid her. Because Leland was afraid this wasn't real. Cassandra had spent years being afraid that it could never be real. Now, somehow, they were both standing inside the very moment neither of them had dared to believe they could have.

He leaned in again, slower this time, giving her every chance to stop him. His lips brushed hers once more... soft, questioning, tasting her like a man who had just learned the universe could still surprise him after all.

When he spoke again his voice was barely above a whisper, rough and full of every year they had spent dancing around this without knowing...but something new had started to settle under the confusion. Something warm. Something that felt a hell of a lot like happiness cracking open inside a chest that had been empty for over a year.

“Tell me why, Cass. Tell me why it’s me...” He paused, forehead still pressed to hers, eyes half-lidded as the truth of it sank deeper with every breath they shared. The kiss still burned on his mouth, sweet and real, and for the first time in longer than he cared to admit he didn’t feel like he was drowning. “Because I don’t know how to believe it yet... but damn if I don’t want this. I want it. I want you. More than I knew until the second your lips touched mine. And I don’t want to let go of that... not now that I finally feel it.”

'Why him?' The answer had never really been complicated. He was Leland. From the very beginning, somehow, he had made her feel safe.

Not because he could protect her from every nightmare or undo everything that had happened to her. He couldn't. There were things Cassandra carried that no one could simply take away. Missions, losses, fear, pain the pieces of herself she had brought home from places she wished she could forget.

But somehow, when she was with him, those things felt lighter. The nightmares had changed to happier things, to dreams. To a yearning of being near him, or hearing his voice, of watching him fix things just talking to her with that smile of his...

He had made her laugh when she had forgotten how to be happy. He had made her feel like something other than the sum of everything that had hurt her. Around Leland, she didn't have to pretend she wasn't broken.

Because she simply didn't feel broken when he was with her. That had been his gift to her, long before she had even understood what it meant.

He had given her happiness when she had thought happiness was something she had lost somewhere along the way. He had become the person she instinctively sought when the world became too heavy, the one presence that could make her breathe easier without even trying.

And somewhere between all those late nights, impossible missions, stupid arguments, laughter, and quiet moments beside him, Cassandra had fallen completely and hopelessly in love with him.

Maybe she had known long before she was willing to admit it. Maybe some part of her had always known.

Her heart tightened at the thought of how much time they had lost, not because she regretted being afraid, but because she wished she had been brave enough beforehand to believe that someone like Leland could have looked at someone like her and chosen her.

She had spent so long believing she needed to become less wounded, less frightened, and then less broken before she deserved to reach for him. She had been wrong. And perhaps that was what hurt most. She only wished she hadn't been so afraid.

And for that, for every year she had spent loving him silently, for every chance she had allowed fear to steal from them, she could only hope he would forgive her.

Forgive her for not being brave enough to believe that she could have him. That she could have this. That she could finally be happy.

“I am so sorry Leland.” Her fingers brushed gently through his hair. "I love you so much." The tears had come again. "Forgive me."

Then something inside him broke free…He closed the last of the space between them with a low, rough sound that came from deep in his chest... kissing her this time with real passion, with reverence, like a man who had finally stopped fighting the truth of what she meant to him. His mouth moved against hers with a hungry tenderness, speaking without words... telling her everything the years of silence had kept locked away. The taste of her flooded him again, sweeter now that he was answering instead of just receiving, and it drove him wild in the best way. His bandaged hand slid down to the small of her back while the other cradled the side of her neck, pulling her body flush against his until there was no cold air left between them... only heat, only the solid press of her against him, only the way she fit like she had always belonged there.

“Cass...” His voice came out low, wrecked, full of everything he hadn’t known how to say until now. “Don’t you dare ask me to forgive you for that. Not for loving me. Not for taking the shot. Not for any of it.”

He pulled back just enough to look at her properly... blue eyes, trembling hands, the softest look he had ever seen on her face. His own hands stayed where they were, holding her close, refusing to give her even an inch of space.

“You didn’t do a damn thing wrong. You hear me? I spent years thinking the only way I got to keep you was as my best friend... and I was good with that. Grateful for it. But the second your lips touched mine it all clicked into place. Like every late-night talk and every time, you showed up when I was falling apart was leading me here the whole time.”

His thumb brushed the corner of her mouth, careful, almost reverent.

“I’m still confused as hell why it’s me... why someone like you would look at the mess I’ve become and decide I’m worth the risk. But I want this. I want you. More than I’ve wanted anything in a long time. And I’m not letting go of that now that I’ve finally got my hands on it.”

He leaned in again, slower this time but with the same heat that had driven him wild moments before... kissing her deep and steady, speaking every bit of his answer against her mouth without needing more words. His body stayed locked to hers, one hand sliding up her spine to keep her close, the other still cradling her face like she might vanish if he wasn’t careful.


When he finally eased back just enough to breathe, his voice was barely a whisper, rough and honest and full of the happiness that had cracked open inside him.


“You don’t need forgiving, Cass. You just need to stay right here... with me... and let me figure out how to be the man who deserves what you just gave me.”

For a moment, Cassandra simply looked at him.

Then everything she had held inside for all those years came rushing forward, not as pain, not as fear, but as love. She smiled through the tears still resting on her cheeks, and this time she didn't try to hide them. There was no reason to. Not anymore. He wanted her. Leland wanted her.

The man she had loved through every late-night conversation, every terrible mission, every moment of laughter and every moment when he had needed someone to simply stay had finally looked at her and realized what she had known for so long. They belonged here. Together.

Her hands came up around his face, holding him with a tenderness that somehow carried the weight of every year she had spent loving him quietly.

“You really don't understand, do you?” There was no accusation in it. Only wonder. A breathless smile touched her lips as she looked into his eyes. “I love you because you are you, Leland. Every broken piece of you. Even now. Especially now.”

Her thumb brushed gently across his cheek. “From the beginning, you were the one person who could make me forget, even for a little while, how much of my own life had hurt.”

Her expression softened. “You made me remember what it felt like to be happy.” The simplicity of the admission carried more truth than anything elaborate ever could.

“You made me feel safe when I didn't know how to feel safe anymore. You made me laugh when I thought I'd forgotten how. And after everything I'd seen, everything I'd survived, every piece of myself I thought I'd lost along the way…” Her eyes held his. “I never had to be less of myself with you, Leland. You made me feel like I was more. Like I could be more. Like…I wanted to be more.”

She paused, her fingers tracing softly along his cheek. “And I watched you, too. I watched you struggle through so much and somehow keep going. You were never perfect. You never pretended to be. But you endured. You kept showing up. You kept giving pieces of yourself to the people you cared about, even when you were hurting.”

Her smile softened further, something almost tenderly proud appearing in her eyes. “I admire that about you. More than you will ever know. And somehow, without even trying, you helped me grow stronger too.”

Her fingers slipped gently into his hair. “Not because you were whole, Leland. Because you weren't.”

The words carried no judgment. Only profound understanding. “You were broken in some of the same places I was broken. And somehow, being able to see that in you made me realize that being wounded didn't mean I had to stay wounded. That maybe being broken didn't make either of us less deserving of happiness.”

Her breath caught softly. “So how could I not love you?”

There it was. The truth she no longer needed to protect, soften, or apologize for. It had always been him. Her hand remained tangled in his hair as she drew him closer until their foreheads touched again.

“And that's why it was always you. You ask me to stay with you..” She kissed the tip of his nose, “”Leland can’t you see that.., I have never left you. And I… I never will.”

Leland’s breath caught and held...

Her words settled into him like warm water finding every cold place that had gone too long without it. He felt them move through the ache left by the holodeck... through the wreckage of the marriage... through every night he had spent believing the best parts of himself were already spent.

His forehead stayed against hers for one more heartbeat while the truth of it rearranged something deep inside his chest. Then he closed the last small space between them.

The kiss he gave her was nothing like the first stunned answer... or the hungry one that came after. This one arrived slower. Deliberate. Almost careful at the edges.

His mouth found hers as if he were learning the shape of her for the first time. Lips parting just enough to taste the soft heat of her breath... then settling into a deeper press. There was no rush in it. Only the quiet intensity of a man who had finally been handed something he never believed he would be allowed to hold.

He tilted his head a fraction... deepening the contact without force... letting the kiss become a slow exploration. The softness of her lower lip yielded under the light drag of his own. He felt the fine tremor that ran through her and answered it with gentler pressure... a wordless reassurance that he was not going anywhere.

His injured hand slid from her cheek into the hair at the nape of her neck. Fingers threading through the strands... cradling her there so he could keep her exactly where he wanted her. Close enough that every breath they shared mixed.

The cold air around them stopped mattering. Heat bloomed wherever they touched...

He felt the slight catch of her breath against his mouth and answered it with a low sound that vibrated in his throat... half groan... half prayer...

His bandaged hand stayed careful at the small of her back. The pressure firm enough to keep her body aligned with his... yet light enough that she could still feel the choice in it. Every small shift of her against him registered like a new discovery.

Hawksley had kissed her as though time had finally slowed enough to let him notice everything...

The way her lips softened and opened for him. The faint salt of recent tears still on her skin. The quiet strength that lived beneath her tenderness...

There was nothing practiced in the way he moved. Only need... tempered by reverence... and the growing certainty that this was not a moment he would ever be willing to surrender.
When at last he eased back just enough to breathe... his lips still brushed hers with every word.

“I’m not letting you go,” he murmured... voice rough and quiet. “Not tonight. Not after this. Not ever... My love.” Leland smiled stating that.

His mouth found hers again... softer still... sealing the promise against her lips before either of them could speak another word...

Cassandra's breath caught at the words, her heart seeming to stop before racing all over again. 'My love.' After all the years of wondering, waiting, and being afraid to hope, he had finally called her that. Her fingers gently curled against his cheek as she leaned into the kiss, answering it with all the tenderness in her heart..


[Off]

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Captain Cassandra Mathews
Marine Commanding Officer
USS Churchill


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