Leaping off the Edge of Normalicy!

Posted on 31 Jul 2025 @ 1:37pm by Ensign Homer Estonburry & Lieutenant Thex sh'Zoarhi

1,932 words; about a 10 minute read

Mission: Orientation Posts
Location: SB51, Orentation Plaza
Timeline: New Personnel Orentation.

ON

[Warning Bad Dad Jokes ahead]

Leaping off the Edge of Normalicy!

location: SB51, Orentation Plaza

Ensign Homer Estonburry, Sat in the room set up for orientation. This was yet another box to check. He did not expect to learn anything new about the ship, just the people. The PowerPoint presentation gave you all of the data. The delivery, odd jokes, old bad dad jokes; that told you alot about the person speaking. That was where he got all of his divinations, not tea leaves. One of his instructors back at the Academy, err excuse me, Starfleet Academy, on Earth, used to accuse him of reading tea leaves. Homer had no clue what that meant, as he did not subscribe to the occult. Everything had a logical explanation if you just dug deep enough or studied the big picture.

Homer was waiting, as he did every hour, during the 15-minute breaks they had to take every hour. Seeing a connection to the USS Tomcat, Homer connected to the Science department. Looking at just about everything, he stumbled across a project's folder. Unable to help himself, Homer started browsing. Finding a deep submersible...

oO Wait, this is interesting Oo

That was an aero-dive platform. Homer read the whole brief, then started interrogating the tablet, trying to access the blueprints, the white paper, anything he could coax out of the oversized tablet. It was not being cooperative. The tablet kept denying him access. losing patience, he sent a message.

To : Lieutenant Thex sh'Zoarhi, Deputy Chief Engineering Officer
From: Ensign Homer Estonburry, Science Officer
Subj : Access to MER suit.

Your Mer suit Exploration program interests me. Might I see your design? Your Design lookeed like an upgraded version of what we were exposed to back at the Starfleet Accademy. It sounds like a fascinating way to observe planets up close. 75% of most planets we scan are not getting a close enough scrutiny, which might allow Starfleet to get a better close up look at the aforementioned planets.

Sincerly
Ensign Homer Estonburry,
Science Officer

Ps I am slightly mechanically inclined, and can program just about anything in most programming languages.

PPs, I Am willing to help Document, said program, to take some of the grunt work away from you, so you can concentrate on more of the mechanics, and not the paperwork.

PPPS I really, really want to play. I would like to add to the 30-ish new lifeforms I have discovered so far.

People started returning from the coffee mess, to their seats, and the Presentation continued. Homer would have to track down the Deputy Chief Engineering Officer, after the Orientation was complete, and convince him that Homer would be a fine addition to the team. The speaker opened up with, "When does a bad joke, become a Bad Dad Joke?" *After a long four-second pause, the speaker continued* " when it becomes { APPARENT}" * The speaker paused to laugh for a bit.* There were several chuckles in the audience, but the audience seemed to not be as impressed as the speaker obviously was!

Thex was down in her small workshop in the ship's engineering bay, working on one of the many items of the Tomcat that needed repairs, when she received the message. She smiled slightly. He had energy; she wouldn't deny that. Packing up her tools, she grabbed a few pads and headed for the doors. It didn't take her long before she was in the Orientation plaza. " Ensign Estonburry? " she enquired as she approached the.... She stopped her attention twitching as her mind tried to place him

Homer was busy reading from his tablet. It had finally decided to let him have access to the information that he had spent the last two hours trying to get. Finally he realised that someone was talking to him. Homer looked up to see a blue face looking at him.

"errrmmm, hi." Homer asked, more of a question than a statement. Homer's mind was still on the data he had just pulled out of the tablet. Homer had no clue who the blue person in Engineering clothing was, but she did look kinda cute, there was something moving in his peripheral vision. Homer looked up involuntarily. The Female had an antenna on her forehead, well, two of them. "You're Andorian!" Homer exclaimed. His brain was now acting funny. What did having blue skin and an antenna have to do with anything? Who was this person, and why was she looking for him? He had no recollection of the face, he would say cute, but missing something. She did resemble a superhero from a classic holodrama; all she needed was a set of round horn-rimmed glasses, and she would look like a superhero in disguise. But she was in a Starfleet Engineering uniform, Rank showed... Homer's training kicked in, standing up suddenly at attention. "Yes, ma'am, how can I assist you?" Homer said in rapid-fire staccato. Homer stood still, trying to figure out why an Engineering Officer was looking for him, unless she was the Officer in Engineering that he had sent the Email to. Which would make her the Deputy Chief Engineering Officer, and the owner of the MER suite he was so fascinated with. Groaning inwardly, Homer tried to display a calm face. Not sure he was successful, Homer waited for a backlash of some kind.

" You contacted me about the improvements i'd been making to my mer suit?" She asked, pulling a padd out of her pocket and handing it to the man. " Here you go these are the current specs of my mer suit, plus the upgrades i plan on doing to her."

Homer took the P.a.d.d. and started browsing through the tons of data. Most of it made logical sense. Engineering wise, it was a piece of cake. Alough their were still a few modifications to be installed, the yet to be installed modifications were based on user comfort and extending the mission length. As homer flipped through the data, he asked, "how many hours do you have in this, is there a second set, that i could try?"*Homer paused to take a breath*. Can we take it for a spin?" Homer realized he was rather excited about the opportunity and decided to let the Engineer get a word in edgewise.

The gave him a gentle mile. " Don't forget to breathe, ensign. I only have the one suit that I'm working on, and it is tailored to fit me. I could easily get one replicated to fit you if you want one, though it will take a week or two. Not all of the material is replicable in one go."


It was all Homer could do to remain calm, not get up and dance, and just communicate a "YES, yes, yes, Please, please."

After forcing him self to breathe, Homer asked, "How difficult is the replication? The computer should have my combat suit measurements from the Academy. " Looking down at his waist, said, "Well, I have had a few extra Cinnabon Cinnamon rolls. but I should still fit in the exosuit."

" An hour or two if you want a model built around you, exact proportions, though I could replicate you one of the more standard ones with any replicator. " The andorian explained. " Though how about you tell me about yourself first."

"I take my hot cocoa at 46 degrees, I do not use artificial sweeteners in it, and Marshmallows are required." Homer tried to smile, to show he was not hostile, but it looked more like indigestion on his face. He just didn't smile all that often. It just didn't feel right.

As Homer stood looking at the Engineer, He realised that the said Engineer was probably looking for more data about himself. Trying to come up with something safe, Homer blurted, " I like all science branches, except psychology. I prefer to be on the ground up to my knees in it, figuratively. One of my hobbies is astro-geology, regular Geology, and exploring underground caves. Everyone looks at the surface, I prefer to look underneath." After Homer said that, he started to wonder if he had said the wrong thing; interpersonal interactions were his Achilles' heel.

"You're a very excitable....." Thex began before realising she still couldn't place his species. " Do you mind if i ask what species you are?" She asked politely.

Homer looked over at the Engineer for a second, then spoke, "Humanoid, I guess. It's all that they will tell me, Humans are humanoid, some are a little different. They say humanity is now a spectrum; there is no normal. But I am different, some say, I have a Vulcan soul, without the Pon Farr every seven years. I have no memories before waking up in Alpha Proxima Tramma center. The saying goes,

[You are the product of your experiences.]

Well, that makes me a blank slate. I spent a year and a half at the Vulcan learning Institute on Proxima IV. I could not stand to be around them for longer than that. They said I was welcome back, but nope.. Not going there."

*Homer reflected for a moment.*

"By the reports I have seen, I am Human average, with a little extra Bone density. No extra organs or abilities. Except maybe holding my breath for ten minutes, while underwater. But that is simply from being adapted to Proxima IV. Its atmosphere is 30% thinner than Earth's Standard. That, and I spend all of my spare time underwater whenever possible. So my lungs are a well-exercised and finely tuned machine."

"Fascinating," Thex said as she took it all in. This ensign was surely something in a good way. His energy was enthusiastic. " I trained as a freediver myself. i had a friend at the academy who was half Vulcan who managed to hold her breath for half an hour."

Homer raised one eyebrow at the remark of 30 minutes, then said, "That is impressive. I used to spend my weekend at the academy off the coast of Australia. There is this big reef. I would spend all day going up and down. The locals put up with me, but were glad when I left. What is your primary objective when you are in the undersea environment? What do you study?"

" Mostly the engineering troubles of operating at various depths and finding the best way's to overcome those troubles." Thex replied.

Homer thought for a second, then said, "Ahh, keeping contaminations out of both the person and environment, strange bacteria getting into or out of the environment could be devastating to both ends of the equation." That sounds hard to do."

" It is, but I'm working on besting it." Replied the blue girl before her com-badge buzzed. " Sorry, that's me, needed back in engineering. I'll talk to you later, Homer."

Homer bowed slightly, "Yes, keep the ship in one piece. I am excited to try your exo suite. I will work on getting an exo-suit replicated in my dimensions. We will have to do a joint swim in the holodeck to test it out."

Knowing the Lieutenant's time was valuable, Homer decided the best course of action was to spend serious amounts of holodeck time qualifying on this system.

Thex hurried off back to the turbolift. Time to get back to doing what she did best.

[OFF]




Ens Estonburry

 

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